birthday presents have 4 wheels

At Auto|One Group, we recently had several co-workers celebrate milestone birthdays. We were all joking around about getting a mid-life crisis car (yes, some of the milestone birthdays are approaching that age demographic). It got me thinking about why and when you get such a prize.

Please note that at no time during this blog will I insinuate a midlife crisis, nor, will I discuss a midlife crisis car…okay, I will.

What makes a midlife crisis car…a midlife crisis car? It needs to be selfish: this is a “toy” for you and you only. It needs to scream, “Hey! I’m old enough to remember acid washed jeans, but I’m still hip!”

I could speak from personal experience about my parents’ midlife crises, but that is a dark place for me. And therapy ain’t cheap.

Women are much more sensible than men when it comes to cars. Chances are, that the lady in your life (or if you are The Lady, chances are that you) have had the short end of the automotive stick. You likely got the minivan/station wagon/SUV/crossover that wasn’t necessarily “you”. But, you stuck it out for the greater good – you made sure little Timmy and his friends got to hockey practice safely. You also made sure that Suzy and her friends got to their dance recitals. Yeah, the family hauler was probably somewhat bland, but it did its job and now the kids are grown up and have kinda moved out of your basement. You can finally let your hair down and get the fun little convertible you always wanted. It doesn’t matter if it’s a base Mazda Miata or a $170K Mercedes SL600 V12 – as long as you’re getting a car that has no real use other than to put a smile on your face and give you an excuse to get the right pair of sunglasses. You’re already winning the battle.

Men, on the other hand, are less sensible than our female counterparts. Science has proven that “9-out-of-10-women-don’t-think-their-male-counterparts-know-what-day-it-is.” This also explains why we forget birthdays and anniversaries, and don’t age as gracefully as women. We get larger in the wrong places, lose hair in the wrong places and gain hair in the wrong places… we get slower, sleepier and crankier. A good midlife crisis car for a man should – in theory – render any imperfections null and void. For years you drove a sedan, or SUV. It was good while it lasted but it never provided the speed, acceleration or engine note that you crave deep down inside.

There are a couple of ways for men to pick the right midlife crisis car for their needs. Options include: luxurious pickup truck, classic muscle car, exotic sports car or newer American muscle… the possibilities are endless. If you live in the city and work in a high-stress job where you have to wear a tie, you will probably be more inclined to get a nice Porsche or Ferrari. If you live in a more rural area, you might treat yourself to a Ford pickup with sumptuous leather or a classic Chevy Camaro. And men can never go wrong with a Corvette.

Sometimes, a midlife crisis car can be misrepresented as a bad thing, having a negative connotation about them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Simply put: you have probably worked hard, been patient with your kids and now have the opportunity to reward yourself. DO IT, YOU DESERVE IT!